A Woman.

I couldn't really think of what to write about, only that I wanted to write, with the clutter of life's problems piling up and choices to be made billowing like a large ball of garbage tumbling over and over in my head with it only getting bigger and bigger and more extrusive I choose to write about what soothes the mind better than any medicine or words of advice, a woman. Most recently I thought about and think about how those I know and the decisions they have made and maybe at times I have made and how when we are in love we do things, irrational things, things we see people do and think that is absolutely nuts, but when we are in the whirlwind that we call love we make and do things that appear to others as one can only think to themselves with utter despair, "What the Fuck."

It's easy to be embarrassed when you think about the moments or actions you once lead that had you being that What the Fuck individual and you think to yourself I will never place myself in a position like that ever again, but it's love good or bad that is stronger than any will and regardless of belief of manner in the end love takes over.

I am not here to say that I am in love or anywhere there near it. What I am here to say and whether it makes sense or not to me it is what soothes the soul or mind for that matter is the thought of a woman. Be it a friend or lover.

There is someone I admire for her free will and driving stubbornness are traits combined with her smile, and love of life, that motivate me. Motivate me to just be, be happy, be me, be better. Why? I have no idea why, if I did I'd bottle it up and sell it. And that's what a Woman does, soothes the soul and yet sends you down a whirling path of madness that everyone can see but yourself. The few moments I'd captured with her were short yet so memorable. I've traveled the country, I've managed hundreds if not thousands, and yet it's her impenetrable persona that I can do this attitude when even though she may not be able to its her allure that makes me look at her and think to myself she is special and it's her allure that is forever embedded into my mind that when I'm down or think I can't, I think of her and think, shit I can.

As different as two people can be, we probably are, and to say I know her I don't. I know she changed me, I know the thought of her and how different she is soothes me.

I'm getting too tired to think clearly, but I will say I want to be raw, upfront, and honest. Maybe these actions will lead me to a dark lonely corner for I will have ostracized everyone else. I'll die happy falling down that path because in the end at least you'll have a story to tell or worth telling.